I want to get all my thoughts out but they are all tangled in my head.
I want sleep so bad. Instead,
I have been staring into the dark trying to decide
If closing my eyes
Even makes much of a difference.
I think too much because it’s all too fucking interesting.
The “what if” mindset usually helps me drift to sleep
But sometimes feelings of stupidity
Outweigh any remedy
So I find a melody
In the white noise and let it sing me to sleep.
I’m pretty sure I ruined it all.
I feel like I’m interrupting–But
I want to sing
About my veins
And lose sleep with belligerent breath.
I want breakfast, lunch and dinner
With no leftovers to spare.
I want the cold,
And I wish this mosquito bite on my back would go away.
It’s a cheap shot.
It’s hardly within my reach.
I feel even the mosquitoes get tired of me.
It’s a shot in the dark, though
And I need a good excuse in case I miss;
Like how I missed out and
How I miss you.
I am no greater
Than an average bowl of cereal
Sticking to your bones;
And in the same way,
It doesnt matter
How many days pass;
Tomorrow is still surreal–
Just how saying my abc’s
Backwards will never fail
To inconvenience me.
Your dry laughs make home
Feel too far away,
Convincing me to sustain
Eye contact until I feel
All truth will reveal itself
In that split second
And then I look away
And then I’m blind again.
Can I find depth between the porch’s plywood?
Should I chase my astigmatism up and down
Would blinking instigate closure?
I am controlled by fear.
I may never get around to it,
But atleast I stuck around.
At least I am trying.
I see you now and I’ll see you soon.
I gotta let my mind do the walking before these
Thoughts run away.
I’m alright with coffee
Though I’d prefer some sleep,